I’ve been making a fuck ton of excuses as of late, which I admitted on Facebook and stirred a good amount of discussion. I may be borderline depressed I think, but I think I can salvage this through journalling and more reflection which I have very seldom done on a week to week basis.
I figure I should make it as visceral and visual as possible. To the point where I wince. I’ve tried to be aspirational in the past and plan around being forward looking, innovative, etc. But when I look back at what I set out to achieve over the last say, 10 years or so, I don’t have much to show. Lots of tough learnings, but, lots of lumps and bruises, and nothing substantial or meaty that I’ve made significant progress in and stuck to through the years.
Just lots and lots of half-started and stalled projects. Check out the blog posts and maybe you’ll spot the pattern. Enough is enough though. I need to figure out a way to make these painful memories that make me wince become more apparent. I realize I’m driven more by pain than pleasure.
So I need to put it front and centre. I’d like to try an experiment and see how many excuses I come up within a month.
I’ll need to make this manageable and timely and have something weekly that I want to ship. There’s this thing that I need to get ready for work around holdout groups and proper A/B testing practices, the pros, cons etc. I need to set up myself for some sort of “easy win” to build up confidence, plus it has to do with work which is something I need to carve out time for anyway.
So how will it work?
Every time I’ve made an excuse – take note of it and mark it down on paper and keep it front and center, I’m thinking the bathroom window where I need to look at myself. Let’s see how it goes.